Could You Be Codependent?

Codependency: a propensity to respond in ways that are excessively passive or too compassionate, resulting in a negative effect on one's relationships and life experience quality. It frequently entails placing one's own needs behind those of others while being too obsessed with their needs.

Narcissists: with their ability to “get others to follow their plans,” are natural magnets for someone who might be co-dependent and whose tendency might be to put others’ need before their own and not ‘fight back’. Among the reciprocally locking interactions of the pair, is the way “the narcissist has an overpowering need to feel important and special”, and someone who behaves co-dependently “has a strong need to help others feel that way”. (Wikipedia)

Are you codependent?

Answer some of the questions below and you can decide for yourself.

Rate Yourself on a Scale of 1-5 (1 = not like me, 5 = very much like me): Is your happiness and what you decide to do closely tied to what others think of you?

5 4 3 2 1

Do you look for validation, reassurance and encouragement in things you do?

5 4 3 2 1

Do you seek approval from people who are the most unlikely to give it to you?

5 4 3 2 1

Do you feel responsible for other people’s feelings if someone is angry, upset, etc.?

5 4 3 2 1

Do you have trouble staying focused on your own needs and goals?

5 4 3 2 1

Do you feel someone else’s unhappiness reflects that you have failed to ‘make them happy’?

5 4 3 2 1

Are you fixated on another person for approval and do you go beyond normal kinds of self-sacrifice?

5 4 3 2 1

Perhaps the answer might be in front of you.

Only you can decide.

Best wishes!

Recommended reading that has changed many lives:

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, 1987 publishing date.